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The Last Cry of ‘Derek I’m Gutted!!!’?
There’s a special kind of magic going on in a fanzine, and it’s a magic stitched together with pritt-stick, scissors, tippex, photocopiers, late nights and DIY stubbornness. For 26 years, Derek I’m Gutted!!! has been that magic in print for… Continue reading
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Port Vale 1-3 Exeter City: After the Iceberg
I stayed to the bitter end. I always do. It’s the Final Act that fascinates me – the moments after the whistle, when the curtain drops on a dismal performance and everyone has to live with what’s just happened. That… Continue reading
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150 Years of Port Vale: A Tale from the Paddock
One hundred and fifty years ago Port Vale Football Club came into being. It has given us joy and beauty, pain and ugliness in equal measure – and we wouldn’t want it any other way. Life is always worth living… Continue reading
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Become the Beast: Jon Brady and the Machiavellian Playbook
Safety sits eleven points above us – and it’s a huge, jagged mountain to climb. And Jon Brady? He’s the man with his boots on, head down, ready to scale it. Ready to lead the way. Twentieth place in League… Continue reading
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Port Vale: Ball Number Four
Tonight the balls will rattle in the bowl and the ghosts of giant-killings will lean in close, because the FA Cup 4th round draw is upon us and Vale are still breathing. Skin in the game, knuckles scraped, after a… Continue reading
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Port Vale and The Return Of 4-4-2
It went massively out of style, didn’t it? One minute 4‑4‑2 was the backbone of British football, the formation you could sketch on a beer mat over a few pints on a Friday night, the next minute it was treated… Continue reading
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Port Vale 5-1 Blackpool: A Tangerine Dream
Dare we dream. Dare we start believing. The road is long but yesterday – for the first time in months – we felt the engine catch. A spark. A rumble. The first steps on a mission everyone else has already… Continue reading
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Bradford City Vs Port Vale: It’s Frothy, Man!
Finally, he’s gone. For me – and for a lot of Valiants – it’s five weeks too late. That shambles at home to Plymouth was the moment to act. Three wins from twenty‑one gigs is abysmal, a sad, sorry tale,… Continue reading
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Huddersfield Town 5-0 Port Vale: How Soon Is Now?
I don’t bother with his post‑match interviews anymore. There’s never an apology, never a hint of responsibility, never even the faintest flicker of accountability for this never‑ending horror show. Just more of the same endless nothingness. He doesn’t even look… Continue reading
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Port Vale 0-1 Peterborough Utd: Relegation By Design
I don’t get it. What’s the endgame here? What possible logic leads the owner of a football club to stare down the barrel of relegation and simply… shrug? Do absolutely nothing? Before the new year has even bothered to dawn,… Continue reading
tales from the paddock 