existentialism
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Cut Adrift: Vale’s December Crisis
Nobody’s doing us any favours, are they? Peterborough, Exeter, Plymouth and Blackpool have all won league games over the last two nights. We didn’t lose because it was chucking it down and Vale Park has never coped with that. The… Continue reading
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Port Vale 5-1 Maldon & Tiptree: Without Mercy. Without Remorse.
It was all over in twenty-four minutes of glorious chaos, four goals in a nine minute spell from Vale enough to deprive the nation of a Sunday afternoon giant-killing. It began with a dream and a stumble. Five minutes in… Continue reading
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Accrington Stanley vs Port Vale: The Joy of the Vertu Trophy?
Here we go. The Vertu Trophy. What even is it? A shimmering illusion, a corporate-branded fever dream, a midweek distraction dressed up as destiny. On the one hand, it’s a tinpot sideshow, a glorified training session with a sponsor’s name… Continue reading
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Port Vale: International Duty Robs Us Of Aussie Joe
Big Bird is grounded! Aussie Joe Gauci, our keeper, our feathered sentinel with hands like velvet and feet like jazz-hands in a thunderstorm, is off to wear the green and gold, repping his country against whoever dares. He won’t be… Continue reading
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Port Vale 0-0 Northampton Town: A Grim Clash of Clay & Leather
Saturday 4 October 2025, 3pm Vale Park, Burslem, Stoke-on-Trent 12:35pm, The Bulls Head. The ale is a beautiful autumnal amber, the talk is loose, and suddenly they’re here — the visitors, the wanderers from Northampton, that town of stitched hides… Continue reading
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Port Vale vs Arsenal: Breakfast And A Morning Stroll
Wednesday 24 September 2025, 08:30. The morning began, as mornings ought, with a ceremony of nourishment both modest and magnificent. An omelette, golden and obedient, enfolded within its curving embrace a portion of smoked haddock – firm, fragrant ,and faintly… Continue reading
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Port Vale 2-1 Mansfield Town: The Reprieve
Saturday 20 September 2025, 3pm. Vale Park, Burslem, Stoke-on-Trent. Ninety-five minutes gone and the world hangs on a whistle, the ref a god with a plastic trinket, Ronan Curtis standing there like a man on the edge of a dream… Continue reading
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Exeter City 0-2 Port Vale: Searching For Satori – Part two
Saturday 13 September 2025, St. James Park, Exeter. There are no epiphanies in the rain. No great awakenings in the grind of a long away day. But sometimes, in the quiet moments after a win – a real, hard-earned win… Continue reading
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Port Vale: Searching For Satori – Part one
Friday 12 September 2025 Digs booked. Full tank of diesel. Five thirty AM, leaving Burslem, saying goodbye to Lemmy and the Angel, Henry Doulton, the streets of Arnold Bennett – all now just ghosts in the rearview, heading towards Exeter,… Continue reading
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Port Vale 0-1 Doncaster Rovers: Our Grim Smile
Saturday 23 August 2025, Vale Park, Burslem. Ah, there it is. That look on the faces on those adventurers from Doncaster on reaching the mother town. It tells us everything we need to know. The dawning realisation that they do… Continue reading
tales from the paddock 