port-vale
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Accrington Stanley vs Port Vale: The Joy of the Vertu Trophy?
Here we go. The Vertu Trophy. What even is it? A shimmering illusion, a corporate-branded fever dream, a midweek distraction dressed up as destiny. On the one hand, it’s a tinpot sideshow, a glorified training session with a sponsor’s name… Continue reading
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Port Vale: International Duty Robs Us Of Aussie Joe
Big Bird is grounded! Aussie Joe Gauci, our keeper, our feathered sentinel with hands like velvet and feet like jazz-hands in a thunderstorm, is off to wear the green and gold, repping his country against whoever dares. He won’t be… Continue reading
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Port Vale: Derek I’m Gutted!!! – The End of an Era
The fanzine is dying, man. Twenty-five years of ink-stained rebellion, of typewriter dreams and sardonic truths, and now Andy McCormack — the beat poet of Burslem terraces — is hanging up his pen, his keys, his soul. Derek I’m Gutted!!!… Continue reading
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Port Vale 0-0 Northampton Town: A Grim Clash of Clay & Leather
Saturday 4 October 2025, 3pm Vale Park, Burslem, Stoke-on-Trent 12:35pm, The Bulls Head. The ale is a beautiful autumnal amber, the talk is loose, and suddenly they’re here — the visitors, the wanderers from Northampton, that town of stitched hides… Continue reading
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Barnsley 0-2 Port Vale: Exorcising Ghosts
Saturday 27 September 2025, 3pm. Oakwell Stadium, Barnsley. We rolled into Oakwell like pilgrims chasing absolution, minds heavy with the weight of August 5th, 2023 — opening day, opening wound. The sun was high but the memory low, seven goals… Continue reading
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Port Vale 0-2 Arsenal: Madri, Titanic and the road to Vale Park
Wednesday 24 September 2025. 5pm and the Bulls Head is humming, a low jazz of clinking pint glasses and belly-laughs, three hours deep in Titanic Ale and the kind of pre-match buzz that fills the soul with joy. St. John’s… Continue reading
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Port Vale 0-2 Arsenal: A Tale Of Salt And Steel
Vale Park, Burslem, Stoke-on-Trent. 3rd Round, Carabao Cup. Wednesday 24 September, 2025. 8PM kick-off. We were beaten, yes — 2-0 by a far superior Arsenal side. It was like steering a battered trawler into the path of a gleaming frigate… Continue reading
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Port Vale vs Arsenal: Breakfast And A Morning Stroll
Wednesday 24 September 2025, 08:30. The morning began, as mornings ought, with a ceremony of nourishment both modest and magnificent. An omelette, golden and obedient, enfolded within its curving embrace a portion of smoked haddock – firm, fragrant ,and faintly… Continue reading
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Port Vale 2-1 Mansfield Town: The Reprieve
Saturday 20 September 2025, 3pm. Vale Park, Burslem, Stoke-on-Trent. Ninety-five minutes gone and the world hangs on a whistle, the ref a god with a plastic trinket, Ronan Curtis standing there like a man on the edge of a dream… Continue reading
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Port Vale V Mansfield Town: Stags, Scabs and a Quality Bitter
Saturday 20 September 2025, Vale Park, Stoke-on-Trent Kick off: Three O’Clock. Roll the windows down on the A38, brother, and let the wind whip your face like a miner’s ghost whispering through the hedgerows. You’re heading south, but the past… Continue reading
tales from the paddock 